Finding Stucture

I have always liked the idea have having little to no structure, so that I can accomplish the things that I always wanted to on my own time and because I do not like the notion of doing the same thing every single day and falling into that sort of boring monotony. It's one of the reason why I liked college a lot more than high school and it's why I like the notion of traveling without having a strict schedule. But, with both of those examples, there was some structure there. I had to fit things around my class schedule and when I travel I have a list of things I want to do or see with (unfortunately) a limited time frame.

Right now, I have almost no structure whatsoever. I try to give myself a to do list or a schedule to follow but because there really is nothing that is "required" that I have to do, I don't usually end up following the little structure for myself. If I set aside 2 hours to write, I am going to spend half of the time on Tumblr or Facebook. I did the same thing when I was in school and I had to write a paper for a class. With the paper though, I had to finish it at some point or another. With my own writing, I don't have to finish it if I don't want to.

Writing is the easiest thing to draw a comparison to since there is an exact comparison. But, it applies to almost everything else I do. During the semesters where I had plenty of extracurricular obligations and I had assignments and papers due (as opposed to tests because again, when I am let on my own to do something like study weeks in advance, it does not happen), I would not only complete of those things but I found the time to do other things like occasionally work out or go to the movies. I don't know how I managed it but I think it was because I was forced to create my own structure that I was able to do everything that I needed to do and more.

Since I have nothing to work around, I find it much more difficult to create my own structure. I want to be able to do the things that I put on my weekly to do list but without a looming deadline or limited amount of time to get it done, it is much easier to go down the rabbit hole of the internet or to marathon some show on Netflix. Perhaps it is my fault for not having the self discipline to be (somewhat) productive on my own time, but I see it as a way of detecting my own flaws. I thrive when I have deadlines, but not an exact structure in needing to reach said deadline. I do not think that I would be successful purely as a free lancer or working without having any sort of deadline. I hate a rigid structure but I do need some of it.

Basically, the point of this blog is if I don't find a job soon, I may become a permanent bum. Or you know, I'll just enroll into a class or two at the local community college.