Obsessing over Hypotheticals

I feel that I may have blogged about this before. Or at least mentioned it in some sort of writing and/or video. This is because it is something that often comes to mind. It isn't just the obsessing over hypothetical situations (and often times having them slip into elaborate fantasies), but spending the time being angry at myself for thinking so much over hypotheticals and essentially wasting a lot my time. You would think that picking up a minor in philosophy would stop me from thinking that just thinking about things is a waste of time.

I think that I get angry because many of the hypotheticals that I draw up in my mind are things that I can actually accomplish if I set aside some time or really focus on them, but I don't always do that. Even worse, I sometime feel like I can't do anything with these things in my head.

Recently though, I have thought up of ways to make my obsessions over hypothetical situations become something a bit more useful, or at least become something that I can see in front of me. I have always thought that if I wanted to do something, I would have to do it big. I want to write, so I should start writing a novel. I want to get in shape, so I should start exercising for 2 hours everyday and run a marathon in a few months. At least, that is what the sitting and dwelling on hypothetical situations does to me. I spend so much time in my own head that these scenarios which were very reasonable at the beginning, are suddenly incredibly ridiculous.

But now, every time that something does become reasonable, or even better fantastical, I am writing it down and turning it into a series of short stories or a series of obsessive ranting that I may turn into something a comedic down the road. So, that part of problem is solved.

The other bit of backlash that has come to me from thinking a bit highly about myself in terms of the job market. I was so certain that I would be able to land some sort of job within a few weeks of applying, that I waiting until mid-December to start applying. I was afraid of the "hypothetical situation" of getting  job in the summer and not being able to go to LeakyCon or, later on, not being able to go to Europe. Clearly, I was foolish. If I receive a job offer tomorrow, that would bring the end of a full three months of job hunting. If I had started it in June then I would have received a job in September according to this timeline. I know now that I can not change the past and all I can really do is keep going. But, even with all of the rejections/no replies at all, I am still hesitant to apply to a job in retail because if I got a "real job" then I would have to quit it and that could be any day now!

Today, I slammed the door on that notion. I applied to a job as a sales associate. Something I should have done at the beginning to tide me over until I started to get real job offers. It would be nice if I got a job offer within the next week, but realistically it may not be for another three months and it I would like to get some money and get out of the house for something other than the occasional run.

I am hoping these actions will help me break out of living inside my mind and not have hypothetical situations paralyze me from doing something with myself.

Side note: I probably won't be blogging anymore until next month because I am going to try to do BEDA for the first time ever. Wish me luck.